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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Finding Joy Through The Pain

Hello Friends,

       It's been awhile since I've posted anything in regards to the adoption or our lives in general, unfortunately there is a reason.  As you know, we were checking off our "to do" list like nobody's business when it came to the adoption process.  We finished our paperwork, ordered our profile books, did some home renovations, had our home study meeting in the home and then as soon as the hope our home study approval was about to be celebrated we got news that made everything come to a screeching halt.

       Some of you know that in 2005, right after I moved to TN, I was diagnosed with a genetic kidney disease.  This was a hard blow, but really it did not affect my day to day life.  I continued to work, married Daniel, and have lived a "normal" life.  As the years have progressed, my kidney function has slowly declined and every doctor appointment became a little more and more grim.  Conveniently, the day I found out that my kidney function was bad enough to be referred to Vanderbilt Transplant team was the same day our home study meeting was in our home.  Needless to say, I was not "dealing" well and showed my emotions to our adoption coordinator.  That in turn made the agency put our approval on hold.  It wasn't a no, it was just a wait and see after my appointment.   

       My appointment at Vanderbilt was January 11th and overall it was a VERY positive experience.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but the transplant team has a positive outlook on things and made me feel at ease.  The fact still remains, I need a kidney and I will have a transplant eventually, but it's God who is gonna guide us as to when that will happen.  The hope is my numbers will improve and my surgery will be postponed for awhile.  But the prayer is that the right donor will come forward in the perfect time when I will need the transplant, before dialysis.  The process is long, I won't even be on the waiting list for 3-6 months and then after that if no live donor is a match for me the waiting list is 2-3 years, but God is good and faithful.  Life continues on, I'm still working and we are still living a "normal" life.  Daniel and I are finding JOY even though 2012 was hard, we are hopeful for 2013.  We TRUST that if it's God's will we will be parents this year.

      In relation to the adoption, I talked with the doctor and he was very supportive of us being able to continue to pursue the adoption.  He will write a letter for the agency and hopefully we will be approved and then be able to move on to fundraising for our future child.  There is a lot of uncertainty in our life, but I believe that is what every one of us has to experience, fear of the unknown.  We may not know what the future holds, but we know WHO holds the future.

      The prayers would be:
           -The letter would be written and sent in a timely manner to the adoption agency from the doctor.
           -My numbers would improve and it would be a good delayed process.
           -The people who feel led to donate would come forward and that someone would be a match.
           -I will continue to feel well and not have to go on dialysis before finding my match.
           -Daniel and I will find strength from each other and support each other through the adoption and transplant process.
           -Our future child would be determined and our hopes to be parents are realized.