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Thursday, April 12, 2012


Control...I have none.  I don't have control over this process, but God does.  I don't have control over how our life has been so busy with work, but God does.  The only thing I have control over is praying when I feel things are out of control.

Life has been busy, which is a good thing at times, it keeps our minds off of the ever looming question of "What's going on with the adoption process?"  We have been working on the house, keeping busy with work, and just living life as a couple.  But, when it's quiet, we are alone, or kids all around us, we feel like this process is not going fast enough.  I can see the "big picture" prospective and know that eventually we will have children.  There will come a day that I wish I had the quiet time I have now.  I can even wrap my head around the fact that the delay is because of God's timing.  But, it doesn't make the waiting part any easier.

We are so blessed.  We are blessed with great families, great friends, and a wonderful church.  We both have great jobs and truly feel God has given these jobs to us.  We have a good marriage and we even have great dogs.  All this to say, there is nothing we are not appreciative for, we are just aching for our child.  I knew this process was not going to be easy.  I knew it was going to have ups and downs.  But, I was not warned that I would not have any control. (Even if in the way, way back of my mind I kinda already knew)

Most of you know me...the ducks need to be in a row, things have an order, and everything has a place.  Adoption has messed up my ducks.  The row is not how I expected it to be.  My only hope, God knows best.  The agency is doing all it can do.  And I just need to pray and trust.

These are just random thoughts (out of control feelings if you will) that have been on my mind lately.  We are doing just fine.  Life is good to us.  We just want to be mommy and daddy.  BUT, we will carry on.  Working on our profile book and it's coming along very nicely.  I am going to print it this week.  We appreciate you love and prayers and concern.