C.H.A.N.G.E.

C - Career
H - Hardships
A - Accident
N - New Adoption Agency
G - Gratefulness
E - Endeavors

Obviously I haven't written in awhile, life has completely changed for the Cone's!  I thought this blog would primarily be about our adoption experience, but I realize that LIFE happens all around us even as we go through the adoption process, so I thought I might as well catch you up on all the other stuff including our adoption news.

Career

At the beginning of May, I started evaluating my life, my career, and the life Daniel and I had and were planning to have in the future.  I realized that life was just too busy and the constraints put on me and my time were more than I needed or wanted.  Through lots of prayers and tears, I decided to leave JCIL after 7 1/2 years.  The decision was bittersweet, lots of blood, sweat, and tears went into my work while I was there.  I feel like I made a difference and gave of myself, I just didn't feel I could maintain the same level of care when God blesses us with a little one.  This was a big decision, this was the job that brought me to Tennessee, where I met some close friends, this job was the reason I met Daniel.  I wasn't just leaving a job, I was leaving a little bit of myself behind.  Overall, I know it was the right decision and I am grateful for the years and years of memories.  Daniel, of course, has been nothing but supportive and gracious through my ups and downs, doubts, and tears. 

Hardships

The decision to leave my job was HARD.  Dealing with finances is HARD.  Waiting for our child is HARD. Life is HARD. But, by God's grace with are making it!  Even through the HARD, we are trusting Him and knowing that His mighty hand is taking care of us.

Accident 

May 25, 2012 was the day my life and the life of my family, particularly my mom, changed forever.  It was a beautiful day, it was the Friday before the holiday, it was a normal day.  Unfortunately, something "not normal" happened that day.  I was working and received a phone call from my mom, I knew it wasn't good, never ever did I expect to hear the words come out of her mouth, but they did.  "Rich is gone, he was on his motorcycle, I need you." I was in shock, didn't know what to do, didn't even know all the details, but we literally threw things in the car and left.  Daniel and I were both in a haze, but 8 hours later we were in IL.  I'm not sure what instinct kicked in, but it was an efficient one and I felt like I was a commander in some kind of secret operation.  I didn't know where we were, how to navigate the task, and how the heck we even got here.  "Uncharted Territory" was the name of the game and I was the one everyone looked to, thankfully I had lots of back up. Looking back, I am so thankful my instincts kicked in and I could be useful.  I was awe struck by the outpouring of love and care that came to my family that week.  I was humbled by the people who not only cared for me, but my mom.  Life is definitely not the same, but we are making it.  Rich will be missed, and we are now living our life in the "new normal". 

New Adoption Agency

In the midst of all the other activities going on, we also changed adoption agencies.  We are now pursuing our adoption through Life Choices of Memphis.  The only place newborns so we are excited about that prospect and the agency is very much on top of things.  Agape was wonderful, but they were not proceeding with the homestudy and did not have any future dates to give us.  From what we heard, it was personnel issues and they didn't have the manpower to pursue paperwork.  They were very gracious and even refunded our application fee.  We have had orientation with Life Choices and now are working on the application.  Our 3-ring binder of papers to go through is a little daunting, but we are trying to make headway.  Daniel is gonna have some homework while I'm gone to IL next week so we can get our application in by the middle to the end of August.  Collecting all the documents needed and filling out so many questionnaire's is very overwhelming, but it's bringing us one step closer to the little one God has for us.  We are trusting Him and know that His timing is perfect, even with the delays.   

Gratefulness

Through the last few months, as I reflect all that has happened, I am grateful.  I am grateful for Daniel and the support he has given me, for family and friends encouraging me and giving us guidance, and to God for blessing us and helping us be obedient.  I know Daniel and I could not and can not get through all the challenges life brings without the grace and love from God.  It is not easy, that was never the guarantee, but knowing that we have lots of support definitely helps.  The list of things we are grateful for would be endless, but learning how to trust no matter what the situation is something I am learning to be grateful for everyday.  Unfortunately, it's something I have to be reminded to do everyday.

Endeavors

Now that August is upon us and the fall is fastly approaching, we are gearing up for what's to come.  We are working on our adoption application and will submit that in the next few weeks.  We will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary on August 25th!!!  We will be spending time with family over Labor Day weekend.  My birthday is in September.  We will be doing our homestudy sometime in the fall, then will be officially waiting.  By the time we get through the fall, it'll be the holidays and we will be ringing in 2013.  Time flies and it's hard to believe how fast the year goes, but I think I have learned this year that our time is precious and nothing in this life is guaranteed. Also, the plans we set out don't even compare to the plans God has for us. 

 

Control

Control...I have none.  I don't have control over this process, but God does.  I don't have control over how our life has been so busy with work, but God does.  The only thing I have control over is praying when I feel things are out of control.

Life has been busy, which is a good thing at times, it keeps our minds off of the ever looming question of "What's going on with the adoption process?"  We have been working on the house, keeping busy with work, and just living life as a couple.  But, when it's quiet, we are alone, or kids all around us, we feel like this process is not going fast enough.  I can see the "big picture" prospective and know that eventually we will have children.  There will come a day that I wish I had the quiet time I have now.  I can even wrap my head around the fact that the delay is because of God's timing.  But, it doesn't make the waiting part any easier.

We are so blessed.  We are blessed with great families, great friends, and a wonderful church.  We both have great jobs and truly feel God has given these jobs to us.  We have a good marriage and we even have great dogs.  All this to say, there is nothing we are not appreciative for, we are just aching for our child.  I knew this process was not going to be easy.  I knew it was going to have ups and downs.  But, I was not warned that I would not have any control. (Even if in the way, way back of my mind I kinda already knew)

Most of you know me...the ducks need to be in a row, things have an order, and everything has a place.  Adoption has messed up my ducks.  The row is not how I expected it to be.  My only hope, God knows best.  The agency is doing all it can do.  And I just need to pray and trust.

These are just random thoughts (out of control feelings if you will) that have been on my mind lately.  We are doing just fine.  Life is good to us.  We just want to be mommy and daddy.  BUT, we will carry on.  Working on our profile book and it's coming along very nicely.  I am going to print it this week.  We appreciate you love and prayers and concern.

Anticipation of Waiting

Well, we finished our PATH class on March 1st.  We still need to finish the homework for each session and get all the certificates together and send it in for our file, but for the most part our obligation for Agape's requirement is done!  I have to thank Erica Thomas, our teacher, for being willing to give up her nights with her family to teach us for a pratically one on one basis.  Not only did we feel catered to, but she single handedly saved us $500 and that my friends warrants a free steak dinner! Hope you enjoy Erica! Your passion for children and their safety and care is definitely a great influence!  So glad to have you close as a valuable resource.

I spoke with Agape last week and I was assured that they are working hard to get our home study started.  There are a few other couples ahead of us, but we are ahead of them with PATH classes finished, so I'm not sure how they are going to treat that situation.  The girl I've been in contact with, Carrie, told me she's putting a good word in for us often.  I told her if she needed a bribe that I make a mean blueberry pie!  We are still set to receiving newborn to age 5-6, and she gave us some really encouraging words.  I think she kinda likes us, so I hope that is a plus for us.  They also like seeing a motivated couple, and let me tell you we are MOTIVATED AND EXCITED!!

In non-adpotion news, Daniel and I have been really busy with work.  Daniel has taken some side jobs for friends and we have both started teaching sign language classes.  Our nights get busy, which is hard on us, but we are trying to work as much as we can to save and pay off bills so when little one comes, we are ready to spend the time with him/her.  It always seems time goes by so fast, I can't believe it's already March!    



Also, I'm sure most of you have seen some of our pictures posted around Facebook.  We have some other pictures that haven't been published yet, but most of you will be getting a picture at some point in our process, I am sure.  We had our "photo shoot" on February 26th with Jamie Deaton from W. June Photography.  She was so creative for our "expecting" picture and it was a much needed time to update our photos.  We were thrilled to get the pictures back and were floored at how nice they turned out!!  Thank you Jamie for your expertise and excitement for us while taking our pictures.  The location and the day were perfect!!  It only took us 3 tries! Just a point of clarification, the shoes are actually grey, but up against Daniel's blue shirt they look blue.  We tried to get a "gender neutral" shoe, but just so you know, there is no hidden meaning. ;-)

I just want to thank everyone for all you kind words, prayers, and questions about our process.  It's hard to answer "still in the paperwork process" to everyone, but what I have learned already is that this process is a lot of waiting and we aren't even homestudy approved.  So we are in the anticipation of waiting while we finish all the requirements we need to.  Please don't hesitate to ask, we both love talking about it!!  We are so eager to be parents and I feel God is growing our hearts already for our children. 

In the beginning...

Well ladies and gentlemen, here goes nothing.  I am going to try to maintain a blog, mainly for Daniel and I to document our adoption journey, but also to keep a record of our life.  I am a little intimidated by having "one more thing" to do in my life, but I know I will want to look back at this journey and remember where God has taken us.  I have already been blessed by so many other blogs, so I hope that this one is used in a positive way.  Welcome to our world.

Some of you may or may not know that Daniel and I are in the process of adoption.  We have talked about it on and off throughout our marriage, but this year 2012 is our year of actually taking action!  We have been married for 4 1/2 years and have tried to get pregnant, no luck, but considering health reasons for me we decided that adoption is how God is going to grow our family.  I am so thankful that I have a husband that has accepted this course of action as an opportunity and an exciting time, as opposed to a negative or disappointed attitude because we aren't able to have biological children.  Daniel has not once made me feel bad about this struggle, but has been a bright light for me and given me new perspective for what God has chosen for us to embark on.

We have decided to apply with the Agape Adoption agency in Memphis, TN.  They have been very welcoming and encouraging already in the short month we have been working with them.  Not once have they been annoyed by my million questions or incessant phone calls.

We are working on our P.A.T.H. (Parents As Tender Healers) class this month and will finish that on March 1st.  We have been totally blessed to be taught by Erica Thomas, a friend from church, and she saved us lots of money by taking the class through her.  She is very passionate about what she does.

The next step is the home-study and that is still up in the air as to when that will start.  I am hoping we can start sometime in March and be approved quickly.  The time now is where I can work on things and have control in things getting done, but once we start "expecting" control is out the window.  

This process is going to teach me a lot of things; patience, grace, joy, disappointment, excitement, and so on, but one thing it won't contour to is my "must have ducks in a row" mentality.  I have a feeling God will have many "teachable moments" during this time.  I am so excited to see what child God has for us to love, welcome, care for, and support.  It's an exciting time for the Cone's!!    

I am going to try to start a timeline of our process, but just in case I can't figure it out, we sent our application into Agape on February 2nd and it has been received!  Can't wait to update and share all the things God is going to do through us during this process.